From Behind the Wall
by SilverExcel115
Summary: The choices we make in our lives define us. Watch as I tell my story from my rise to my fall. Watch me as I build that wall. Part One of Two "Through New Eyes" Prequels. It's an attempt at a war story, so "M" for safety. Cover belongs to BenitezArt-Deviant Art.
1. In The Flesh?

**Author's Note: Forewarning, this story is going to be a bit of a slow start. I am warning you now, because the first three chapters at least won't really have anything to do with combat or the military, that comes later. I suppose you could skip them because I ultimately can't determine what you will find interesting or not. Other than that, this story is a prequel to my** _ **Red vs Blue**_ **story "Through New Eyes,". You don't need to read it to understand this one, so don't worry about being lost. This story is only vaguely tied to Red vs Blue by a couple of characters, I expect this to seem more Halo by nature. In fact I almost put it in the Halo fanfiction, I suppose that's for you guys to decide, unless you don't care.**

 **This story will be well out of my comfort zone since this is the first time I'm writing something without the guidance of the original source material. Instead I got accept the setting with a lot of other settings and plot lines to choose from as well as a bunch of war films that I could perhaps use as reference. This is definitely a new experience for me and I hope I do a good job. I also hope you readers enjoy. Please don't be too harsh, I'm in unfamiliar territory, might need some help from time to time.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own** _ **Red vs Blue**_ **or** _ **Halo**_ **.**

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

*Noise*

 _Intercom_

Military time is 12 plus civilian: 7:00 PM = 1900

 **[Author's Note]**

" _So you thought you might like to go to the show."_

This Is Where We Start

July 6th, 2546

Earth, humanity's birthplace. An astronomer from back in the 20th century said it best, that pale blue dot, that's home, that's us. It's been a long since I had last seen her and she is as gorgeous as when I left.

 **[Play track:** _ **Medal of Honor: European Assault**_ **OST: "Dogs of War"]**

A lot of people have asked me about what I did during the war, my answer is the same every time. Each one of us may have our own personal reasons for why we joined, but I can guarantee everyone of us could tell you what I will tell you now. We fought for what was right, for humanity. I hate war, and I always will, but I understand why we must fight.

We as a race throughout our existence has looked up to the stars and wondered if we were alone in this universe. On February 3rd, 2525, we got our answer. What followed was a war that would test our resolve and our will as we are slowly stripped of everything we have. We are outgunned and outnumbered by _them_ , The Covenant. An ancient conglomerate of religious, zealous alien races, and they have every advantage over us but yet, we keep fighting. Through every loss as each of our worlds burn, we still keep fighting.

What other choice do you have, if we give up, we will die, if we fight would probably die. The choices are not that much better, but it's enough to keep us going, though I think we all feel the same, I feel we all know we are losing. If you are going to die, are you just going to let it happen, or are you going to fight it with everyone you have, fight it kicking, screaming, and clawing with your finger nails?

This war has cost us all so very much and I am tired of fighting. I look around me and I see all the faces of my fellow soldiers, they keep changing. Among those I see, what kills me are the ones I can't see. They are the lucky ones, they don't have to live with the things those like have to carry on with.

 **[End track]**

As I walk down the street of this neighborhood, I can't help but feel off, out of place. The neighborhood is exactly what you would expect from a middle class suburban area. Right now it is currently 8 in the morning, the sun was slowly starting to rise and I could still see the morning dew on everything. It was peaceful, quiet, but most of all it was empty. For the entire block I could not see a single soul, there weren't even any children playing around.

It was a small community from what I could tell, and it had deep support for the military if the UNSC banners hanging from the house and flags in the front yard are anything to go by. Amount the flags, every so often I could spot another one waving with them, it was white with a thick red border and a bright gold star in the center. This war has cost every single one of us so very much and this small knit community is a prime example of this. I also know full well my presence will only add more grief and sorrow to an already demoralized people, me, a tall man walking down the street in full dress blues, anyone who knows the significance behind this will all have one question on their mind: "Who's not coming home?"

Today marks the 10th year I had been at war. For ten years I had fought and bleed and watched everyone around me die for what was before me. This town carries with it a haunting peace and beauty of a world untouched by war and all its costs. As I continue to walk down this street I can't help but notice how unsettling all this is. It looks as if the people here don't even know what's going on, as if they don't know that a war is going on. That is until you look into there eyes, in there you will find it, that look of fear no matter how small, that fear and knowing of the current situation our race is in. An anticipation for the inevitable battle that will arrive onto their doorstep, all this peace…it's going to end, and they all know it.

As I pass each house, I could see that the entire street was lined with the gold star, all except a few every now and then. Currently, I am in the former state of Texas and in the city of Austin. Though many of the citizens, including me still consider ourselves Americans, we actually aren't. The United States of America stopped existing as a political power long before this century. I would put it somewhere between the second American Civil War and the union of the USA, Canada, and Mexico into United Republic of North America. Still, that being said, there are still several former states that refuse to give up their name as their identity, Texas is one of them, and so is the state I am from, California. Shame I never got to visit this place as a kid, it's a real nice place.

I finally come to a stop at a large house at the end of the street with no gold star banner. I pause for a moment and notice that my heart was attempting to jump out of my chest, I take a deep breath and then proceed to slowly walk up the driveway. In reality this happened within a span of at most, fifteen seconds, but for me, it felt an eternity as I slowly walked to the door. It felt as if I was on death row and I was waking he long mile straight to my death.

The grass was bright green and I could tell that the flowers in the garden were new due to the disturbed dirt that was still fresh. The only things that weren't new were the hedges at the edge of the yard which acted as a border between this house and the next. In the middle of the sea of green inside a planter surrounded by fresh roses stood a small evergreen, it rose to the height of the front porch and stood proudly in the sun acting as the houses watchful protector.

As I reached the front porch, I stopped again, I noticed how weathered the wooden flooring was and worn welcome mat at the foot of the door. I looked up and saw the faded walls that were at one time pure white but now looked aged and had a yellow tint. As I stood there paused, I could feel my heart slow down but with it came a feeling of guilt, sadness, and shame which hit me like a ton of bricks. My shoulders started to slump, my head bowed slightly, and I closed my eyes shut in order to keep the tears from coming out. I slowly pull out the letter in my back pocket and I take a long look at it.

I wish right now I was anywhere but here. I wish the reason I was here wasn't to tell a child why their parent wasn't coming home. How can some put themselves through that, be the one who has to love with the fact that they loved while their friends didn't, and now they have to be the ones to confront their fallen comrades' families. The army gave me a set script that they recommended I follow but I know full well that I would stumble on no matter how many times I go over it in my head. The military can drill as many scenarios into your mind in an attempt to prepare you but no training is ever going to make you ready to face war and what happens because of it.

"Here we go," I murmur to myself as I lower the letter, raise my head and straighten my back. I take a deep breath and put on a straight face and then walk forward and proceed to knock on the door three times. I then take a step back and wait patiently for it to open. I heart starts to pick up once more as I could feel the vibrations of rotates from the other side of the door, my throat goes dry and I take another deep breath in anticipation for confrontation as I watch the doorknob slowly turn and the door slowly opens.

*beep-beep* *hssss* *gasp*

My eyes jar open and I am flooded with a blinding white light and my ears are met with a ringing new noise. I then fall forward onto the cold metal grating in front of me and proceed to vomit up whatever the medics put into the formula that they injected into me before I went into cryostasis.

As I quickly gather my bearings, my sight and hearing return and I manage to take a good look around me. To my left and right I can see many other soldiers, sailors, and crew man in a similar position that I was with some variations in between as well as medical personnel in full uniform interning us to make sure nothing went wrong in the thawing process. I take a few deep ragged breaths as I slowly climb onto a bench and lean onto a pillar for support as I regain the rest of my bearings. I let out a tired groan as I try to stretch out my sore muscles and I then lean back and close my eyes.

July 6th, 2536, UNSC Midway, 10 years ago:

"Name?" I hear a voice ask, I open my eyes and hovering above me to my left was a medic with a data pad in his hand.

"Lockett, Jonathan, A." I reply.

"Rank?" He asks.

"Staff Sergeant."

"Last four?"

"7140."

"Blood type?"

"O POS." The medic nods as he marks off another box.

"One more thing," he says, "Are you experiencing any loss of breath, burning in the lungs, loss of sight or hearing, or loss of motor functions?" I tell him no. "And are you feeling light headed or otherwise anything that should be of note, any blisters, rashes or anything of the sort."

"No," I shake my head. The medic nods and turns away from the pad.

He turns to me and says "That concludes it, your vitals show green across the board sergeant. You cleared to go. "

"Thanks," I reply. He returns a nod and then walks off the other tube. After showers I found myself in the shops chow hall, or the dfac as us army folks like to call it. I found myself not really hungry, but with good reason. Today was the day I would finally see combat and I was dreading every passing minute. Most people would be excited, which is fine, but they should be wary, if the stories of fight my the Covenant are anything to go by. It doesn't matter what training I've been through, nothing is going to prepare me for what is about to come.

"What do you think?" I hear someone ask me, breaking me from my train of thought. Confused, I look up across the table to the one who asked the question. It was a short, well, shorter than me, lean man with chestnut colored military cut hair and light beard amber eyes.

"Jay-Lo what do you think?" he asks holding out a catalogue on bathroom floor tiles, "What you think I should do?" I stare at him blankly, then back at the catalogue, then back at him. I then give him an incredulous looked topped with a shrug. I looked at him apologetically since I hadn't really been listening through his dilemma. The man returns my response with a deadpan stare. He then turns to the others sitting at the table and asks "You guys got any input on this?"

A towering black man sitting to the first man's right grabs the catalogue and says "Here let me take a look." He scans through the catalogue for about 20 seconds and then shows the first man the catalogue and says "She wants 'Pale Pink' right?" Chestnut nods, Tower then continue "Go for it, I think it'll really bring out the color when the sun hits it in the morning. It also has this reflective glow that will really make you feel healthier and younger plus it'll give off this retro feel that which could add some real class to the look." Everyone's eyes were soon upon him.

Another man, this one taller than Chestnut with golden blonde hair high and tight style and goatee to my left, slightly surprised and slightly disturbed says "I find it a little disturbing how a man your size is this descriptive on pink."

Tower Rolls his eyes and retorts "You know pink use to be a boy color right?" He then glances at me and comments "Besides, Jay-Lo isn't going to be much help, he looks preoccupied."

"Speaking of that…" I hear a voice to my right say before I'm grabbed from said shoulder. I turn and face the voice revealing a tall muscular woman in her late 20s, she had sandy blonde hair tied in a bun behind her head. Her sapphire blue eyes here staring directly into mine and with a worried tone she asks me "Hey Lockett, you alright? You've hardly spoken a word this morning..." she glances at my tray, "Neither have you eaten much."

"Here let me see, hey Jay-Lo," another voice calls, I then feel hands on my head as it's moved to reveal a bald Hispanic man with glasses. "Lockett," he calls again, "Just nod your head if you can hear us. We know you're alive." Not wanting to cause more concern I quickly do as he says. Glasses nods and then sits back down, but I notice Sapphire eyes was still watching me with an unconvinced look.

Blonde turns back to the Tower and asks "Let me take a look?" Tower hands Blonde the catalogue and Blonde. "Hmm…" Blonde muses, "It actually doesn't look that bad." His eyes then narrow, "Uh….Danny?"

"Yeah?" Chestnut asks.

"You're putting the tiles in yourself right?" Blonde asks.

"Um no?" Danny replies, "I mean, it's not like I know how. Why?"

Blonde shows him the catalogue and says "These tiles cost fifty credits each."

"The fuck?!" Danny cries snatching back the catalogue.

"Yeah, I'd advice not hiring someone for this. This is going to be way too expensive for you man," Blonde sighs. "Probably should either find something cheaper or do it yourself...or both even."

"You tiling the whole bathroom?" I ask finally.

"He speaks!" laughs sapphire eyes.

Danny looks back at his notes and answers back "Yeah, the floor, walls, and shower."

"Damn," I breath, "Yeah, Josh is right, you need to go for cheaper."

"Why?" Danny asks, "How much is it to hire someone?"

"Depends," sapphire eyes replies, "When I had the bathroom in my house done it cost me 12,000. An average bathroom would cost you at the very least ten thousand."

"Ffuucckk," Danny groans and buried his face into his hands. "Josh is right , this really is too expensive."

"Well look at the bright sight," reasoned Tower, "At least now you get to try something new." Before Danny could retort, he is interrupted when someone takes a seat at the table.

They first thing we noticed was the food tray piled high with pretty much every food option they were serving for breakfast. What was surprising to us was the person positioned behind the try. She was a slim asian woman in her late teens, she had a pale skin tone with a light rosy complexion, she also had sharp brown eyes which were brought out by her obsidian hair. Not the kind of person I would normally expect to see eating the amount she was...never mind the rate she was eating. The looks she was getting from each person at the table ranged from surprise and confusion to humor and disbelief. The look increased when she picked up her tray and started literally shoveling the food into her mouth.

"Looks like someone's enjoying herself," sapphire eyes snickers, Obsidian hair doesn't even spare her a glance. "So unlady like," she teases.

Obsidian hair, with a mid range English accent retorts "Oh piss off, I can eat how I please." Just then another woman, this one tall, fiery red hair cut into a military style cut joins our table.

When she spoke, she had a light New York accent, she grimaced slightly and then chuckles "Hey Hawk." Obsidian hair turns and faces the newcomer. "If you eat any faster you're gonna die choking on your food long before the aliens even come close enough to fire a bolt of plasma at you," the ginger taunts while taking a seat to Hawk's left.

"I don't think I am currently in the mood to care right now," Hawk retorts lazily. "This is the best food we've had in months and if I do end up pushing up daisies than I will die satisfied that I died eating all I could."

"Well than good luck keeping that perfect little waistline of yours," red taunts once again.

"I'll be fine," Hawk replies. She then takes a moment to observe her lower torso and says "Pretty sure I could use a few pounds given how petite I am." The ginger groans and gives up trying to annoy Hawk.

"You know," Josh comments, "Hawk does have a point."

"Which part?" Danny asks.

"She's right about the food being decent," I reply adding to Josh's comment. "They always tend to give out edible food right before they send us somewhere dangerous with a high chance of death."

"Like the death penalty?" Danny asks us.

"Could be," I nod.

"Well actually," Josh interjects and I look over, he turns to me and says "It's a given if they start handing out stuff like ice cream and cake." I then nod in understanding.

"The more edible the higher the chances," I comment.

"Exactly," Josh nods while taking another drink from his cup. Everyone just glances at us and themselves as the mood seemed to drop to a more depressing tone.

"Thanks for killing the mood," sighed Glasses.

"Oh we do what we can," Josh grinned.

Sapphire eyes then points and says "Oh look icecream." Hawk snaps at said direction followed almost immediately with jumping up and flying off to said direction."

"Guess we're screwed now huh?" Tower asks both Josh and I.

"Oh yeah," Josh nods cheerfully.

With her hands in her face, red groans "I'm gonna need more coffee." She then gets up and walks off to the coffee dispenser.

With my arms bracing up my head, I turn to Sapphire eyes and I say with a bemused tone "You did that on purpose didn't you."

"Maybe," she giggles.

Assembly Area:

After breakfast we had a briefing on the mission that lay before us. We were then issued all our supplies and equipment as well as our chute before we reported the assembly area and lined up ready to board. Nearly everything was in place, we were all about to take a leap of faith both figuratively and literally. All that was needed was a greenlight from our company commander before we could start boarding the transports. Just then, the company commander steps up onto the stage.

"Charlie Company!" he hollers, "Listen up! Horseshoe formation around me. There has been a change of plans." Everyone is dead silent as we wait anxiously for him to continue. "The skies over our current landing zone has just been hit by rain storm and the whole area over the city and surrounding areas are socked in with rain and fog and high winds over the drop zone. The invasion has been canceled and we are being put on a 24 hour stand down. No jump tonight!" Right as the commander finishes, the whole company explodes in groans but as is extinguished as quickly as it was born. The commander continues "The jump has been rescheduled to tomorrow afternoon at the latest! All of you report back to the CQ! Drill sergeants take charge.

And thus we were forced to delay the day of our judgement by one. All of us were there stuck trying to find things to keep us occupied until tomorrow. Some of stayed in their rooms doing whatever. A good portion of us went to the auditorium where a movie was being played. Me? I found myself walking into the observation deck. I let out a tired sigh as I walked up to one of the mirrors and stared at the planet below us. All I could think about was tomorrow and everything that could go wrong. I was so deep in thought that I failed to notice that I was no longer alone in the room.

"I thought I might find you here," a voice rang out from behind me. I look behind me to find Sapphire eyes leaning up against the doorway.

"Hello Church," I softly greet.

"Room for one more?" she asks. I motion for her to go right ahead. Church walls up to the spot next to me and leans her back onto the rail. I see her pull out a cigarette and a lighter and she lights one off. She then takes a long look at the planet, she then turns and asks me "Think it's clean it up?" I squint my eyes to see if I could get a better look at the storm clouds below.

I shake my head and answer "Nope." Church looks to me and back to the window a little longer.

She then turns and shrugs saying "I think it's clearing up." She then checks something on her wrist pda, turns to me and says "You know it's seven back in Austin , five in LA.

"Happy hour," I muse.

"Yep," Church nods cheerfully, "Happy hour. Grab a couple of drinks."

"Have an early dinner and then hit the movies?" I offer. Church lets out a soft laugh as she takes another drag.

"Civilized place for civilized people," she sighs while reminiscing.

I then softly chuckle and she looks and me confused and asks "What's up?"

"Oh nothing," I reply, "It's just that I literally got here….maybe five minutes ago." I then ask curiously "Was this the first place you looked?"

Now it was Church's turn to laugh, "I know you way too well Lockett. I know you like to think and the best places are the quiet ones. Also…." Church turns around and faces the window and nods at the planet "You sure can't beat the view."

"I can us a few years down the road looking back at this….pivotal moment in our lives. A moment which will live us until the end of our time," I muse, "For better or for worse."

Church looks at me questioningly and murmurs "You sure are sentimental aren't you." I shrug, and she laughs and says "You should have been born 600 years ago." She then puts out the cigarette, "You'd fit right in I bet." Her smile fades a little and she asks me "Nervous?"

"Would be lying if I told you no," I reply honestly.

"You're not having second thoughts are you?" Church questioned.

I snort "Even if I did it's too late now." I then lean closer to the railing and my face softens and I grow a little more serious and growl "It's now or never."

"Just know I'll be with you every step of the way," Church tells me while patting me on my shoulder reassuringly. "Just don't steal all the kills will you?"

"Better keep up then," I challenge.

Thus the choice was made and I was now on a dark pathway bathed with blood, walking ever so slowly to that faint white light at the end of the tunnel. The battle ahead of me would come to define me as well as give me a drive that would push me through the worst years of my life; but before we can get there, before we can reach Blood Gulch, I must take you back to the beginning, to where it all started….to how and why I built that wall.

 **Author's Note: This is the first chapter to a new story I am writing. This is just something I really wanted to do, a story I just wanted out there. If you find yourself liking this then by all means go ahead and keep reading. Updates to this story will take me quite a while as I am basically pulling stuff from my head, excuse me of some battle scene seem familiar, my originality can only extend so far. I will try my best to balance this with my duties in the army, but I don't know yet. See you guys soon hopefully.**

 **P.S.: One more thing, I don't really want write out accents phonetically and I don't think it looks that nice on paper. English for example, the accent is a bit more than work to write out when comparing it to a New York accent where I only have change a couple things. I would prefer it if I didn't have to write it out, let me know if you either want having it written out or if you wouldn't make mind just imagining a character's accent.**


	2. The Thin Ice

**Author's Note: To anyone who was waiting on this story, or any activity on my account period, sorry I took so long to update. I've had a lot of things going on and it took me awhile to get this story to a way I was at least some what comfortable with it. I hope you like it.**

 **Anyways, I just realized my math is wrong, in order to make my timeline work I'll have to modify the years and Lockett's age in order to fit what I need. I'll go back and change it soon but for now, know that Lockett enlists into the army in 2539 and instead of 10 years ago, make it 8 years meaning that the first chapter started out in 2547.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue or Halo.**

" _Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice appears under your feet."_

What I'm Leaving

I sat there on the table without my shirt as I patiently waited. I watched as the doctor placed two pads onto me; one to the left from the center of my chest and one on relatively same spot on my back. The UNSC may be able to accurately scan individuals in a concrete structure 50 meters doesn't change the fact that the pads are still give a more accurate and detailed reading, at least for now anyway. I watched as the doctor then pressed a few buttons on his PDA and waited for a few seconds as he waited for the data to gather. Each second ultimately began to drag and what was suppose to be three shirts seconds turned into an eternity as my anxiety started to build and I anxiously eyed the doctor. The doctor, after a moment then nodded at the data he was give. He shuts off the PDA and then proceeds to take the pads off of me.

"How is it?" I ask nervously.

Modern medicine has made it to where almost anything could be cured, even some of the more severe cases. The drawback is that all treatments take time and I wanted to get what I needed done as quick as I could. Something like cancer could hold me over for several weeks. By then all of the people I had grown up with, my friends, classmates, even some of my teachers, they all would have left, either by getting drafted or by their own choice, that's something I can't live with, getting left behind.

The doctor looks into my eyes, "Your heart is healthy," he replied reassuringly. "No diseases and no abnormalities." I then nod and start putting my shirt back on.

"When do you plan on going?" the doctor asks.

"I'm going to head down to the recruiter's office tomorrow morning," I reply. "I'd do it today but it's Sunday so they're closed." My dad returns a nod and then begins to pack up his equipment and fill out my physical forms. "Dad?" I call out. He then looks up to me.

"Yes?" he responds.

I walked up to him, stood up straight and said "I know I am old enough to no longer need your permission but still…." I pause and take a deep breath, "Dad may I please go?"

"Jonathan, you're right, you don't need my permission. In fact something tells me you're going to go regardless of what I say," he chuckles, "No matter your choice I will always support you," he finishes his statement with a warm smile to me.

"Thanks dad," I reply. He then glances downward and then frowns.

"There is one thing I do need to tell you though," he says.

I look back and I could see the sadness and the worry in his eyes. He then sighs and continues "Treating those men and women from back in the Insurrection….it wasn't that they had their flesh torn, it was that they had their souls torn out. I don't want to look into your eyes one day and see no spark, no life. It would break my heart." I give him a respectful nod and he then asks, "Give me time to break the news to your mother?"

"After dinner I'll take Sampson out for a walk," I reply.

"That'll do," my dad nods. My father and I left the room to join my mother at the dinner table.

Nothing was different later that day, we sat at the table and talked about our day. My mother didn't know I was planning on enlisting but she did know I was aware. When dinner was over, like we had planned earlier, I put on my jacket, grabbed the leash of my Sampson. I pulled my bicycle from the garage and called to my dog. Within a few moments I saw a German Shepard come bounding happily my way. I knelt down and scratched behind his ears.

"Hey boy, you up for a trip?" I ask.

Sampson barks twice and moves his head in a nodding motion. I then place the leash around him and hook the other end onto the handlebars of my bike. I grabbed my backpack, climbed onto the bike and then off we went. As I rode down the streets of my hometown, I looked around me. Everyone was there as if nothing was more important in the world than what was their task was at hand. No matter how mundane or how simple, that task was that person's priority, not some war that was way out on the edge of human space.

When I finally reached Jackson Square Park, the sun had already shown signs of setting this signaling some of the other park goers to start leaving. I locked up my bike and Sampson and I then ran out over the emerald hills and when we reached the top of the biggest one I stopped and reached into my pack. As I opened the zipper, Sampson was all over my arms knowing full well of what I was about to pull out. From the depths of my pack I'll pulled out the prize my dog was hungering for, I bright neon green tennis ball. My dog started to bark and dance excitedly as I stood up and then struck a pose.

"Go get it boy!" I cried and I lobbed it as far as I could and Sampson bounded after it like a bat out of hell.

I watched as he quickly caught up to the ball and once he had the green sphere within his jaws, he then turned around and began the journey back to me. This process of me throwing the ball and Sampson retrieving it would repeat for hours until finally I got bored and took the ball and ran. I laughed as Sampson chased after me with the goal of rescuing his stolen treasure. He eventually caught up of course, we stopped at the edge of the park near the parking lot where my bike was locked up. Sampson then sat down and waited patiently for me to return the ball, I let out a soft chuckle and handed it back which he gladly took. I then proceeded to kneel down to his level.

"I may be going away for a while," I tell him sadly. Sampson lets out a soft whine and lowers his head. "Until then you're in charge of the house. Look after mom and dad for me 'kay?"

Sampson looks into mine with his big soft brown eyes and he proceeds to give me several kisses along my face. I couldn't help but smile as Sampson went on, I then tried to push him off but he refused to let me go as if he was afraid I would never come back. I can understand that feeling. He's one of several people I would be leaving behind, but there was one other that was on my mind.

 _A Day Earlier_

I grew up in the relatively small city of Huntington Beach located along the southern coast of the former state of California. As stated by the name, the most famous attraction to this city is the breath taking beach that spans 5.3 kms as well as the amazing almost year-round sunny weather and mild winters. Since I personally lived only 5 kilometers from the beach, it took me on average 13-15 minutes to ride my bike from my home to the beach head. I tended to go there and watch the tide whenever I felt either bored or bothered by something. It was always so quiet and peaceful, always gave me a place where I could feel safe enough to let my thoughts just go. As you can probably imagine, I spent a lot of my youth just sitting in the sand watching the tide or whatever I felt at that moment….today was no different.

As I lay there in the sand staring at the sky, I slowly raised a small daisy I had picked from a bush earlier to the point where the flower was blocking the light from the sun. I let out a contempt sigh as I lower my arm and close my eyes as I let the heat from the sun's rays hit my face. It was then I felt something by my side move and pressure was lifted and moved from my side to my chest. I opened my eyes and saw the head of a gorgeous girl whose petite frame was snuggled up from my right side up to my lower chest.

Her fiery red hair, which was tied into a ponytail on top of her head, helped emphasize her already pale peach complexion. She wore sky blue denim shorts with torn ends with a yellow, short sleeve button up top tied just above her midriff. She was in all intents and purpose, a tomboy. It was then the girl started to stir. She let's out a soft moan and I see one eye crack open revealing bright hazel eyes.

"Jonathan?" she groans, lifting her head.

"Hello," I greet softly.

"Hello," she replies and smiles warmly. She frowns slightly, she turns to face me and asks "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" I ask trying to pass it off, but she didn't seem convinced.

She then props her head on her elbows and says "Jonathan, I know you. I know how you act when something is bothering you."

I slowly sat up and gazed out across the ocean, I let out a sad sigh as I directed my gaze to the horizon and I noticed that the sun was beginning to set filling the sky with brilliant shades of pink, purple, and red.

"Anthony was killed in action," I sigh sadly. Her eyes widen with shock. "And Mark shipped out yesterday." I continue. I then hear her sits up.

"Alexis," I murmur as I feel her wrap her arms around me. "It's alright."

"You don't have to pretend that it's not bothering you Jonathan, everyone's leaving," she cries. "And it hurts me just as much as I see it hurt you." I finally give in and slump my shoulders.

"Everything's changing so fast," I breath, "Everyone is leaving to fight and die for us while I'm just sitting here trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life."

"So is everybody," Alexis reasoned, "We all have those thoughts."

"I know…." I murmur, "It's just….intense I guess. It's also a tough dealing with the fact people we knew our whole life are now gone and any moment the enemy, those aliens we are fighting….they could somehow find their way here and burn everything we know into ashes."

"Don't worry about that! The military is doing their best and I'm sure they have everything under control," Alexis cries in an attempt to maintain that false sense of security that she along with many others seem to wear.

I saw right through all that propaganda the UEG pumped out. Half the town can't see the obvious right in front of their face while the other half has either left or their ready to leave. Hell not even the UNSC is willing to follow along with it, they intact just seized emergency powers just last month. There hasn't happened since the Insurrection!

Instead of flat out voicing my opinion I instead reply, "Well half the neighborhood seems to think otherwise."

"Well then let them," Alexis counters, "They're worrying about something that isn't there. Even if there is something, how do you know the UNSC weren't being too imperialistic and decided to push themselves into this "war.""

"Do you really believe that?" I ask in disbelief.

She nods "Yeah I do," she replies, "The UNSC has held us together for this long, I'm sure they've got it handled and this is all going to end soon and even if it gets bad, I'm sure they also have something prepared for that too." She then grabs my chin and turns my head so I am facing her, she then says to my reassuringly "It's okay, we're going to be fine."

I always did enjoy her optimism, but I will admit I've had people tell me that she could use a but of realism in her life. I'd be lying if I didn't agree with that statement at least a little. Still, I can't help be feel brighter every time she was around, it's just this thing she tended to carry with her. She just seemed to make every emotion amplified when she was around. The sad part was that emotions affected her deeply, so if there was anything negative, the same effect would still apply.

"Okay," I whisper. She then leans in and gives me a kiss. She lets go and glances at the horizon and we see the sun hovering just above the water.

"You want to go?" she asks me.

"Not just yet," I tell her.

She smiles warmly, "Okay," she whispers, "We'll stay for it."

We then silently watch as the great golden orb slowly sinks below the waves taking all the brilliant shades of pink, purple, and orange with it and among the black sky, the stars started to appear. It doesn't matter how many times you've seen it, a beach view sunset will always be as beautiful as the first. I can guarantee it.

We both then got up and walked back to the sidewalk and began our stroll along the beach. As the day turned into night, the beach goers with all their surf boards, towels, and kites, they all began to leave. They were swapped out as the sidewalk was filled with new people there to enjoy the streets of the plaza next to the beach as well as a few people who wanted to light bonfires.

We soon came upon a long pier that stretched out at least 500 meters from the coast and into the ocean. We walked up the steps next to the base until we came to a stop at where the pier began. It was there we found ourselves deep in a sea of people.

"This packed," I breathed Alexis, "As usual."

"Yeah," I smile, "No different then we were kids." I then turn and ask her "Is there any place you want to go in particular or do you want to just go to Ruby's since we're heading there anyway?" Alexis places her hand under her chin as she ponders for a little.

"Let's go to Ruby's, I'm kind of craving a milkshake right now," she replies with a dreamy grin on her face. I nod and we continue down our path to the pier.

The enormous structure was built at the dawn of the 20th century, five years before the founding of the city of Huntington Beach in 1909. The pier has had many different uses over the centuries and has been rebuilt and remodeled many times. It is a treasured peace of history in my hometown as well as one of it's biggest tourist attractions, it drove hundreds of people to the beaches both daily and nightly, we were lucky because today was one of the smaller crowds.

"It's such a nice day today," Alexis sighs as she stares off at the horizon. I just chuckle at her nostalgic joy as I open the door.

"Coming?" I ask snapping her attention to me.

Alexis blushes with embarrassment, "Oh, right." She then rushes to my side.

"Table for two," I tell the waitress. She nods and then takes us to a booth by the window which let us look back at the path we had just walked. We are soon meet with a blonde waitress.

"Hello," she greets cheerfully, "Welcome to Ruby's, my name is Jenny and I'll be your waiter tonight. May I start you two out with drinks?"

"I'll take a chocolate milkshake please?" Alexis replies.

"Strawberry for me," I add. After quickly jotting down our drinks, she nods and walks off to deliver our orders. I watch as Alexis glances absentmindedly around her with a sad smile.

"This place sure brings back memories," she tells me, she turns to me and continues "We practically grew up here."

"It's actually interesting, this place…." I comment as I look around me, "Barely looks like it had changed while look at us." I turn back to her, "I miss my life before my high school graduation." Alexis laughs at my statement. "No I really do."

She nods and replies "I feel you, not having all those responsibilities and worries in life was a great feeling. We never had to worry about our future, well not as much as now anyway. We've never had to deal with reality and have to learn the hard way of what we were capable of and if that was even the path we wanted to take."

Though she meant it to be humours, I couldn't help but feel upset. I feel as if the path I personally have chosen is not what I should be doing. Don't get me wrong, I am happy with the accomplishments I have achieved up to this point, but I can't help shake this feeling that I was meant for something else. Alexis seemed to pick up on this.

"Look at you now, four years later and now you're here with a bachelor's degree," she tells me, "It's not a bad trade you've taken for your innocence."

"I guess," I murmur.

I hear Alexis then let out a frustrated sigh, "Jonathan, you gotta stop looking at the past like the way you do. I have told you this many times and yet here we are."

I glance downward than our the window, "I know," I sigh.

"It's going to be fine Jonathan," she tells me reassuringly, "I have faith that you will make it far, but you gotta get you head out of the past, staying back there isn't going to do anyone any good, especially you."

"Why me specifically?" I ask her. I notice Alexis then roll her eyes as we go down the same conversation we've had many times before.

"Because Jonathan, you seem to always have the need to dwell on things long after they've happened," she explains, "I know for a fact I've told you personally many times that you should never dwell on the past. I also know that many others have told you this same thing as well." She then leans closer to me and gently grabs my hand. "The future is what you need to look at Jonathan, not the past," she reassuringly tells me, "Now what was the moto I made for you?"

I let out a small smile, "Keep moving forward."

"Exactly," she smiles right as the waitress she then leans back right as the waitress comes back, she gives us our drinks, we give our orders and she leaves. This is a routine that many waiters and waitresses like her have done a million times before, especially in a diner. It's weird how a diner is a place where these talks seem to happen, this time is no different.

"Have you put any thought into graduate school?"

"Not really," I reply.

"Have you gotten any offers?" she asks.

"A few," I reply.

"Well, who?" she asks expectantly.

"MIT, Stanford, and Berkeley," I replied. Alexis's eyes widen in surprise.

"Well shit," she laughs, "You're pretty much set then. You going to say yes to any of them?"

I shrug, "I don't know yet?" I then ask her "How about you?"

"Harvard," she smiles.

"No," I a reply in disbelief. She just smiles and nods.

"And I said yes," she adds.

"Tha-that's great," I reply. "I'm proud of you," and I was, but in reality I really wasn't sure how to feel about this. A part of me wanted to feel happy for her because she achieved her dream, but another part of me was upset, Harvard was on the other side of the continent.

"Thanks Johnathan," she replies.

"For what?" I ask curiously, "Most of the work was done by you. You deserve the credit."

"Yeah I know…." she murmurs, "But the only reason that I am even here where I am is because of you. Thank you for pushing me." I sheepishly nod. I then check the time on my watch.

"Hey it's getting late, you ready?" I ask.

Alexis glances down at her plate, after a moment of pondering she looks back to me and nods "Yeah, I'm finished."

With that I paid the check, and we left. The rest of the night we found ourselves walking along the same route back across the pier past the beach to her car. The trip was mostly silent with maybe a small chat every now and then. Other than that I had even more time to myself to ponder of whatever preconceived greatness my child self had dreamt up and I could feel it all. As the car came to a stop at my house, Alexis turns to my and pulls me into a kiss.

She then lets go and says "I had a good time." I give her a smile and as I get out, she adds "Again, don't worry about the future, and I know I may be going far away but I want you to know that no matter what happens you will always have someone. I'm always going to there for you."

"Thank you Alexis," I whisper.

"Just promise you me the same alright?" she asks me sincerely, "Don't leave me."

"I won't," I tell her.

She nods and the before she says "I love you."

"I love you," I respond back and with that she starts the engine of her car and drives off.

I am alone once again left with nothing but my own thoughts to accompany me. As I walk silently along the street leading to my neighborhood, my lungs filled and then deflated and couldn't help but wonder what was it I truly desired. With each passing moment I looked around me and I saw exactly what it was. All this, this life I have, it's pure, untouched, and they have no idea what's coming. No one is willing to admit that there is a job that needs to be done. Someone has to be willing to sacrifice the life they may have had in order to keep that small measure of peace and normalcy that everyone craves. They have to be willing to risk it all to protect what means most to them, even if that something ends up out casting them for it somewhere down the line.

I know now, what I want to do with my life. I can hear calling to me and it's song grow louder with each passing moment. There those who are born to raise the flag, born to dedicate their lives to an organization with an embedded history whose roots could be traced way back to the forming of the First Continental Army of the United States in 1775. Those who are willing to rise up to the call of duty and dedicate their lives to preserve the lives of those who live and prosper under the ideals that has held us together as a race for centuries.

I come to a stop at a wall and it was covered in posters. I guess most people would call them propaganda, not going to lie, that's pretty much what they were. They were recruitment posters for every branch all of them well designed and surely enticing, but there was one that stood out to me the most. It was the largest of the posters and sat dead center of the them life a mural. It was a picture of Earth from orbit and above it in bold white letters read "Fight for Her."

It reminded me an excerpt from a book written by a famous astronomer during the late twentieth century during the later years of the Cold War and towards the end of the Space Race. The quote read "Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there-on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."

All I could think of now was my home, my family, my friends….and Alexis. Would I be willing to risk it all to protect them. Well it looks like we're about to find out, but what pains me the most is what I said to her. I promised her that I would never leave, I'm sorry Alexis, I want to do my part and fight for all of you. I can not sit back and watch as other young people stand up, fight, and die for me while I just go on my nerdy life like nothing is wrong.

"It looks like I'll have to break that promise," I whisper to myself as I turn my gaze to a poster looking up to an army trooper. The trooper was in a pose as of calling to his fellow soldiers, I think he was leading them. On the top read "This we'll defend!" and on the bottom in smaller letters read "Join Now!" and have out an address of a recruitment office, a list of times, and the phone number.

 **Author's Note: Thank you all for reading, and once again sorry for the long wait. The analytics say that there aren't a lot of people waiting on this chapter, but still, there are people. To those who were waiting on activity from my account, I'll figure out a schedule for my other stories both written and in planning. I just hope you guys remain patient with me as a get try to get a handle on my wonky schedule. I just realized this chapter is probably cheesy as fuck, lol, oh well, it'll be over soon. Thank you.**


	3. Another Brick In The Wall Part 1

**Author's Note: Hi! I hope you guys were all safe and had a fine holiday. By the time this chapter is posted it will probably be past New Years. So Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone! I don't really have anything to say so here is chapter 3.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Red vs Blue or Halo.**

" _All in all you're just another brick in the wall."_

The Foundations

So there I was, I had just finished my processing at MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station), I was gathered with the other enlistees in a room. There weren't any seats so we were instead instructed to stand. In the room the carpet was adorned with the UNSC crest and before us was a stage with a podium in the center. To the left and right of the stage were flags representing each of the four branches from the air force, to the army, to the marine corp, and finally the navy.

We were then created by a man in a navy dress uniform. He greeted us politely, introduced himself as Captain Wilder, and then he thanked us for coming. He then proceeded to give a short speech, he briefly talked about the sacrifices we made enlisting and the sacrifices we would have to make in the future. He also gave a little insight on what our future would hold as well as basic military DNC (Drill and Ceremony); like how to stand at attention and parade rest. All of this seemed routine but nevertheless important, the whole experience at MEPS seemed rather tedious and pointless but our swear-in was something that was anything but. We would soon swear the Oath of Enlistment thus cementing our lives into the UNSC military. He directed us into the correct formation and then called out "parade rest", the modified position of attention: back straight, eyes foreword, legs spread shoulder length apart, and hands place left over right into the small of our backs. He then taught us the "position of attention": standing straight, feet together, eyes foreword, and hands curled into a fist with the thumb placed onto the seam of our pants.

"The left foot never moves," he told us. He then proceeds to show us the variations of parade rest such as "stand at ease," "at ease," and "rest." After a few rehearsals it was now time for the real thing.

"Attention!" he hollard and all us did as instructed. He then instructed us to raise our right hand and recited after him or oath.

"I, Jonathan Lockett, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of The United Earth Government against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United Earth Government and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me."

With that, the Captain called us back to attention and dismissed us. We are now officially in the military. Any chance of us leaving lawfully has now gone out the window as the military has already spent too much getting us through the whole enlistment process. The only path for us is forward, we knew what we were getting into, I turned to look at my parents and my friend Paul. This was the last time I would see them as we were then hereded down the hall and brought into a line with the door right in front of us to where we would board a bus that would take us to an airport that would ship us off to Basic Training. The double doors then swung outward and we there bathed in a bright white light. We were then instructed by a sergeant to proceed forward….

 _Flashback_

The door to the office opened and I walked through, I was soon greeted by a tall freckled man with a sharp nose, box like face, and had a virtually no hair except for the top of his head which was neatly combed over. He man though had a muscular figure and gave off an intimidating persona, he was actually rather kind and pairing, it was almost jarring when I first met him. I knew the man as Staff Sergeant Kessler, my recruiter.

"Hey," he waves. I wave as he comes over to shake my hand. "How was your weekend man?" he asks while he takes my hand.

"It was fine," I reply. L

He shoots me a warm smile and says "Thank you for coming here, glad you could make it." He then directs me to a seat next to his desk. He then asks for the essentials, my social security number, birth certificate, etc. "Alright, looks like everything is in," he then gives me a paper and asks me to sign at the bottom. "Are you sure about doing this?" he suddenly asks as I was about to sign.

I look up to him and ask "What do you mean?"

"Well…." he explains, "Part of it is just routine, it's just to confirm your decision now so that you don't try to back out at the last minute."

"What's the other part?" I ask curiously..

"It's nothing against you," he reassured, "It's just…." he then pulls up a file on his computer. "You scored a 98 on your ASVAB with 120 on practically all the line scores," he explains, "Which means you could have picked any job you wanted in the Army. Are you sure infantry is what you want to do?"

"Yes," I reply firmly.

"Alright," Sgt. Kessler murmurs, he nods and then proceeds with filling out the rest of my profile. My eyes were then drawn onto a patch that was placed on his right shoulder. It was a simple green folded banner with black letters that read "75th Ranger Rgt." "Um, Sgt?" I call out.

He looks over to me and replies "What's up?"

"What patch is that on your shoulder?" I ask.

"Oh this?" he asks turning to look at his shoulder. "I got this back when I was with the Army Rangers."

"Rangers?" I ask, "Who are they, and what do they do?" I ask curiously.

"The….75th Rangers Regiment…." Kessler smiles with pride "Is an elite light infantry rapid-deployment military formation. They are the army's best of the best and have been fighting since 1942. Hell," he laughs, "They could even give the ODSTs a run for their money."

"What's the difference?" I ask hoping for him to elaborate more.

"We're the army," he jokes, "Ranger missions don't tend to differ much. Their missions range from simple direct action raids and special reconnaissance; to more complex and difficult missions like airfield seizures and counterterrorism. Then there's the this…." He then pulls up a few photos on his computer and shows them to me.

"Are those….parachutes?" I ask incredulously.

"What else would they be?" he smirks. He points at the photo I was looking at and laughs "Kites?"

"Why though?" I ask, still in disbelief, "Why not just jump from orbit like the ODSTs?" Why would they use such an archaic way of deployment? It just doesn't make any sense when there's a much faster and more advanced way to do it.

Kessler snorts and says "Yeah, drop pods are cool if you like hurling tens of thousands of miles per hour with only marginally decent chances of survival whether from death from reentry, triple As, or whatever." I raise an eyebrow at him while he shrugs and leans back on the chair "It's only that parachutes tend to have a considerably higher survival rate than those self dug coffins, and they're more calm and smooth when deployed, with more maneuverable controls than those joysticks in the pods. Oh, then there's the fact they are small and silent making hard to detect making up for their slower speed and making them much more suited for night and stealth ops." He then sarcastically asks "What do I know though, I've only been with them for six years."

"Huh…." I murmur feeling somewhat enlightened.

As I examine the photos, I come across the recruitment poster. On the poster was a silhouette of a soldier standing bravely on top of a hill. Bathed in yellow light stood a soldier I immediately identified as a ranger. The armor he wore easily visualized the type of soldiers they were and how they fought. The ranger BDU had drab green ceramic and titanium plating focused on the vital areas of the upper thighs, torso, and shins. The arms and legs were left only covered with a black kevlar body suit with kevlar pads covering the shoulders and other joints. Finally, the BDU was topped off with a drab green air assault helmet; like the ODST helmet, it had a large visor that took up the entire face region, but like the rest of the armor more streamlined and fit for maneuverability. Behind the soldier in the bright yellow sky was an albatross dropship and flowing out from behind it was a bunch of open parachutes.

"Six years?" I chuckle.

He sighs with a nostalgic smile,"Best years of my life." He turns to me and asks "Why, you interested in joining?"

"Well, what's the training like?" I ask. The smile that was on his face soon fades.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done," he murmurs seriously. He glances at me and says "Basic training or "bootcamp" as it's called, that's a piece of cake, and airborne school is even more so, but ranger school….that's something you won't understand until you're there. Hell," he laughs, "I'd almost take combat over it….almost."

"I'll do it," I say suddenly. He then fully faces me, surprised at what I had said.

He replies "I can put you in a ranger contract, but I need to know if this is what you really want. The graduation rates are at 42%, and that's for Ranger School alone. I haven't even talked about the selection in order to get into it to begin with."

I nod again and more loudly I repeat "I'll do it."

He then takes a deep breath and then replies softly "Alright."

With that, he pulled up my file on, added another contract to it and then had me sign a few more times for the additional training that I was adding on. From this moment forward, everything that happens came from a choice I made here in this office.

I can barely remember the few weeks that happened after this. It all became a blur as one thing after another kept happening. What immediately happened after my enlistment, Alexis discovered my plan. Somehow she discovered that I had chose not to go to college or get a job. She instead now knows that I chose to give my life to the UNSC and she didn't take it too well….

She came crashing in through the door, her hair normally neat was a complete mess and on her face was a mixture of anger and grief on the verge of tears.

"Tell me you didn't do it," she cries and growls at the same time. There I stood, unflinching as she pressed on her attack. "Please tell me you didn't do it," she cries again.

I chose to remain silent, as her eyes met mine, she had found her answer. Her eyes grow wide as the tears start to flow and in disbelief she takes a step back and covers her mouth with her hand.

"Oh my god!" she wails, "How could you!"

She then lowers her hand, knowing what was coming I close my eyes and then I suddenly feel a swipe across my face and my face turns away from the force.

"You promised!" she screams.

When open my eyes again I see her bringing her arm back for a punch. Her first then flew forward only to be caught by my hand only inches from my face. She was shocked by this, quickly regaining her senses, she brings up her other hand for another strike to which I grab her wrist thus preventing it. Her breathing began to slow and her knees buckle before she finally broke down.

"Why?" she cried. By this time my parents were surrounding us, my trying to calm Alexis while my dad by my side to make sure things didn't get out of hand….well, more out of hand than they already were.

"I thought you'd be proud," I reply.

"Why would I be proud?" she screams incredulously. "You said you wouldn't leave!"

"Half of everyone we knew has already left," I tell her camly, "I suspect by the end of the year they would have all left. People are dying for us everyday Alexis, I can't just sit by and live my life knowing that I could do so much more!"

"The fuck you mena doing more?!" she screams angrily, "By throwing your life away? You could do anything thing with your life and you chose to be the government's personal suicide soldier?!"

"What did you just say?" I growl at her.

"You heard me," she cries, "You don't think I don't know what's going on? I know for a fact that whoever goes out there never come back, and you know this too! You could do so much more, you don't have to just throw your life away!"

"My life? What about everyone else's?!" I shout. "So all those who have already joined and are fighting right now, they are worth less than me and I am above them so I don't have to fight for what's right!"

"That's not what I meant-" Alexis cries, but I cut her off.

"But that's what you implied!" I growled as my eyes narrow.

"You selfish piece of shit!" she screams and attempts to rush forward only to be stopped by my mom. "Everyone of us here, your parents, your friends, me; we've all done everything for you! We've put up with a lot of your shit too because we all wanted you to succeed even if that wasn't what you wanted."

"Selfish?" I growl.

"But it's true!" she retorts, "We have sacrificed everything to get you to where you are and this is how you repay us?! You just go and throw it all away! How could you be so selfish, and it's not just you!" She then turns on my parents, "All of you!" she screams. "For some reason you're all okay with him going, you're all just as blind. Just because everyone else is okay with sending you off to die doesn't mean I will."

"So what are you saying?" I ask, ignoring my parents attempts at defusing the argument. I know full well what is about to happen, but at this point I could care less.

She then stands up straight and calmly says "There is no point in me staying and wasting my time with you if you're just going to throw it all away." It took every ounce of restraint I had to not explode on her. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, I then open them and my eyes met hers.

I told calmly but firmly, "Sorry if that's how you feel. If that's all…." Though slightly confused, she slowly nods, I motion to the door behind her and say "Get out."

Without another word spoken, she turn and slammed the door on the war out. I can say all I want about how this broke me apart and how much I regretted what I had said. It did bother me a little bit, but for the most part, I can't really describe how I felt. I did fell that I would miss her for a while, but for the most part I just felt numb, empty. I also felt relieved in a way, as if a weight was lifted from my chest, I remember thinking how weird it was. Over the years the empty, numb feeling would grow but this moment, this was where it all started.

 _Flash forward_

"That was four days ago…." I sigh as my friend and I walk down the beach. "And I haven't seen her since."

We then come to a stop and I took a sigh as I once again gaze out longingly into the horizon.

"You going to be okay?" my friend asks.

Ignoring his question, I turn to him and ask "How is she?" He gives me a funny look, so I ask him again, "How is she doing?"

"Nevermind how she's doing," he retorts. "You're the one I've heard the least from! How are YOU doing?"

"She's been talking about me?" I ask unsurprised, as Paul nods I ask "What did she say?"

Paul lets out a sigh and says "She actually hasn't said much, but what she has said are rants about how your whole relationship was for nothing, your so selfish, and she feels betrayed by you. A lot of our friends have started to take her side while just as many are taking yours."

"Well what do you think?" I ask, not taking my eyes off the horizon. "Do you think I'm selfish."

"No," he smiles, "Lockett, you're a lot of things, but selfish is definitely not one of them. I truly believe you joined believing you were doing the right thing. I may personally not agree with your choice but….I am old enough to acknowledge that you and I are adults and we make our own decisions." I then turn to face him as he continues, "As I said before, I may now agree with your choice, but I will still respect your decision." I then turn slightly away as I ponder what I had just been told. I am grateful that I still have some friends after all that's happened.

"Thanks Paul," I tell him sincerely.

"You don't need to thank me man," he laughs, "When do you leave?"

"This Friday," I murmur flatley.

Paul nervously scratches the back of his head, he then says "Damn, that's….three days?" I nod.

"That's when I go to swear in before they send me off," I turn to him again and ask "You'll be there right?"

"Do you even need to ask?" he laughs making me smile. He then pulls something out of his bag and hands it to me, "Here." I open the brown wrapping revealing a book.

" _The Catcher in the Rye_ by J. D. Salinger," I read aloud, I smile and say "Paul you didn't need to-"

He cuts me off "That's just in case you need something to read on the flight," he replies bashfully.

I give him a warm smile and I reply "Thank you Paul, I really mean it." He just gives me a warm smile and reassuring pat on my shoulder. "You'll be fine right, especially after today?" he asks.

"I'll be fine," I reply softly. By the look Paul gave me, I knew he wasn't convinced, but he chose not to push on.

"How long until you would be clear to go?" I ask remembering that we had originally made plans to enlist together. Sadly the plans were put on hold when Paul was told he had a heart murmur.

Paul shrugs, "I don't know, my recruiters said we'll talk about it after my surgery and that's not for another three months."

"Guess I'll be out of basic before you," I taunt.

"Which is bullshit," he shouts playfully shoving me.

"You'll look after her right?" I ask and Paul nods.

"You really think she's going to take you back, after all this?" he asks.

Unsure I reply honestly "I don't know. I'll be honest, I have no idea what to think."

"Well here's an idea," he replies, I turn to him and he continues, "Remember what she always said, "Keep moving forward."" I nod and turn back to the sunset and he joins me.

"Just try to come back alive alright?" he asks.

"Alright," I murmur. I felt guilty for the fact that this may be the very well be the last time I ever see any of them ever again. It was an silly and notion for one to truly believe that one would survive war. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to have a little hope though.

 _Present_

 **[Play track: "Hurt"-Nine Inch Nails]**

As the doors open, we are then immediately herded into single file line headed straight for a line of green busses. Suddenly, the foggy haze that had surrounded my vision slowly lifts revealing the path that was not laid out before me. There's no alternate paths I could take, and there is no way back meaning the only way is forward.

As time passes on, I draw ever nearer to my destination, the buses brought us straight to the airport where we were again filled onto an aircraft then transported to our training base. As the rest of the cabin slept, I found myself unable to fall asleep. I could not believe how loud the silence was, it drowned out all the background noise and left me with only my thoughts and the sound of my pounding heart. After the aircraft landed, we were once again filed onto another bus that felt just as long as the flight.

I must have read the book Paul gave me several times during both trips. The story was about a mental patient in a hospital in the United States during the 1950s as he tells the story of his life; was the best way to describe the book. In all honesty though, the main protagonist in the story seemed to be in denial on everything that has happened in his life, he just refused to admit it was his fault when in the story it obviously was. It was a good book, taught the lessons of frustrations and growing up, still….I couldn't help but question if Paul had picked this book in particular for a reason. I guess Paul felt it would help or something, I probably won't find out for a while.

"Hey look man there it is," someone in the front shouts waking me up from my thoughts.

For the first time since I had first gotten onto the bus, I looked out the window. As we passed through the gates at the checkpoint I noticed the heavily wooded area that surrounded the road that lay in front of us. There to the right of us was a big sign, it was simple and with big bold letters said "Welcome to Fort Benning." What followed was a good ten minutes of driving through narrow winding streets with a thick forest on both sides blocking our view. As we travel on, I notice the trees soon start to thin out and we come out upon a clearing and dead center in the middle was a large brick colored structure with two signs hanging over the metal roof at the entrance. As the bus came to a stop right at the entrance, I could now see what the signs had written on them; the leftmost sign said "Welcome to the UNSC Army," while the right most said "Home of the Maneuver Center of Excellence."

The doors then open an in steps a man in a round-brown, wide brimmed hat. He steps onto the bus and stands in the middle of the isle so we could all see him.

"Alright soldiers listen up!" he shouts, "When I tell you to get off this bus," he walks up the aisle "You will grab your bag and YOUR bag only and then follow me over to formation. Come on let's go, hurry up."

We all then do as we were told: we got up from our seats, climbed off the bus, grabbed our bags from under the bus, and then fell into a formation in front. 30th AG, reception, that was our home for the next while. They said it would be quick, that it would be only a few days, oh boy were they lying. We were stuck there for almost two weeks, and each day I've never felt more soulless, more lifeless. I fucking hate reception and this place alone almost made me question joining the army. It was long and was filled with just sitting in an auditorium and just waiting. Each day would consist of sitting and waiting, then waiting in a line, an activity that would more like soldiers, and finally more waiting.

Our civilian clothes were removed and in place we were given uniforms: the standard BDUs and the PT uniforms. We were from then on filed through line after line as the army doctors poked and prodded us in order to make sure we were all healthy and fit to serve. The final nail in the coffin to our civilian hood was our haircut. For me, this was the final straw, as the barber shaved off all my hair, I could feel the warmth and comfort I had in my previous life leave and in its place was replaced with….something else. It was cold, calculating, and harsh, but it wasn't unforgiving. We were then taken to the store and with our duffels, we bought essentially half the store in hygiene products. In the end when we were finally lined up to go to basic, we had one fully stuffed duffel and an equally stuffed laundry bag alongside plus our personal bag.

 _Linebreak_

Day: 0, the day we officially start our Basic Combat Training. They liked to call it "The Shark Attack," the first 72 hours of basic that would mold into a lifestyle we would be forced to conform to for the next 16 weeks. We were herded onto white busses, all three hundred of us, they had us close our eyes and blindly ride along as they drove us to our new home. As soon as we came to a stop, the doors opened and in stormed a drill sergeant.

"You all have ten minutes to get off this bus and you just used up nine!" he screamed.

From then on I took off practically jumping off with my duffel front-loaded onto my chest, my laundry bag strapped to my back and my backpack dangling behind. The drill sergeants immediately then proceeded to chew out the soldiers who took too long to get off the bus. The rest of us took off as fast as our legs could carry with up to half our body weight in gear and we sprinted up a 200 yard thirty degree curved bath all the way to our barracks where we were once again rounded into another formation. From then on we were then herded into our barracks, females had one seperate to ours, but judging by their screaming drill sergeant, they were being put through the same shit us males were. When gathered around the borders of the large rectangle in the center called the "killzone," we then proceeded to dump all the contents of our duffels and laundry bags while they took our away our personal and locked it away.

After taking accountability for all our equipment and finishing our briefing, the drill sergeants took us onto a tour around base. Places included the dining facility or d-fac for short and the battalion classrooms, they explained the operating procedures for when we went to chow etc. As the day started to come to a close, we were then shoved into our bays for our personal hygiene. As the day ended, I climbed into my bunk and pulled the covers over me, as I closed my eyes, all I could wonder was what the hell I had just gotten myself into. It didn't matter what rank I was, it was a specialist by the way, perks of having a college degree; the drill sergeants still treated us like "the retarded privates we were" as they loved to say.

At that moment, everything that had happened to me finally comes crashing into my with the force of a semi-truck. I just sat up and stared off straight as the tears just started to pour out from my eyes, but yet I didn't make a sound. I just stared off blankly at the wall and silently cried as I started to come to terms with what I had just done. It wasn't until my bunk mate had called out to me with concern before my trance broke. I quickly told him nothing, dried my tears and squared myself away. As I layed down and closed my eyes, I could feel the pain quickly leaving as quick as it had come and slowly ever so slightly, I could see the bricks in my mind starting to pile on each other.

"Welcome to the Army," I finally mutter before I finally fall into a deep sleep.

 **Author's Note: Thank you all for reading, I'm glad you made it this far. I'll be in touch with the next chapter as soon as I can. Until then, keep on reading, feel free to leave some criticisms as I could use all the help I can get. See you all later.**


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